I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Enjoy the penises
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
