hotel room ftw
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
We smell like vodka and hangover
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