is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
