i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
