I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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