shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
