The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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