sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize