Midget sex pt 2 tonight
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
