Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
