It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Drunk is not a location!
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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