i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
