I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
