I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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