Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize