My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I am available for nakedness
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
