i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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