Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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