who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
