Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
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