I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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