The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
