Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
