im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
