Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Randomize
