she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
