OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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