you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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