Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
