I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
organizing the empties. That sober.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Randomize
