Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
We're not piercing ourselves today.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Randomize
