i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize