I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
