Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
