did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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