i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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