Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i just sent this text using only my big toe
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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