omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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