I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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