Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Randomize
