Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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