that's an acceptable place to lick
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
