I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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