She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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