Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
this boner is exhausting
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
