just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
