awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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