You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
