I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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