The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Randomize
