Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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