Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
foreskin is a definite game changer
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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