I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
