Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
