Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
