Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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