she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize