I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
