worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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