My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
