am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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