The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
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