I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
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