We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
