Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
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