she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
