at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
