If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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